Tried FFXI back in the day but never got into it because of how the controls were but now that i have xpadder and a controller im going to try this server out. Which brings my to the main questions. Which classes are new player friendly and which ones should i stay far away from? If it helps any, back in the day when i originally tried FFXI, i wanted to play a summoner but is that really a good class for a new player? someone who knows nothing about the game?

You can probably play anything you want and it won't matter. Some things to consider Ninja and Ranger both cost a lot because of lots of consumables and maybe Corsair too but I don't know much about it. Mages can be expensive starting out because of spells. If you want to play summoner I'd level up White Mage and Black Mage.

First of all, whats important is your preference to what kind of jobs you like. you said you wanted to be a summoner? That is a fun job and definately one worth getting.

I suggest reading this guide here: http://nasomi.com/wiki/doku.php?id=new:first-time

specifically the jobs section. For summoner, as long as you don't mind asking for hel pin order to get your summons early on, its pretty friendly and fun to learn. If you go summoner, a big recommendation is starting as black mage, then when you get the subjob quest done switch to white mage, and then when you reach lvl 30 get summoner. This is because white mage is the subjob of summoner and black mage is the subjob of white mage. This way you can also recycl most of your equipment from blm into your whm without too much issue.

As for your specific question, like infi said, almost any job is okay to start with. But the ones that aren't recommended unless you are willing to do a big extra effort are Ninja, Ranger and Corsair, this because they cost a LOT of money because of their bullets/tools.

Fighter is pretty straight forward and fairly tough. I found MNK to be tough until you get 1-2 levels done before it'll hit consistently. Mages are fun but take it easy early...always. They squish easy and as stated, costs for spells can be a slight hassle. Havn't messed with the other classes yet. I'm slow. :p

I'd toss out the Black Mage sub job suggestion, and go with Red Mage instead for subbing on White Mage. Black Mage is the superior sub job at early levels, but when you get access to Fast Cast, among other things from Red Mage, it becomes the better choice.

/Red Mage, while not much, has a use in Summoner's sub job arsenal, while Black Mage doesn't so it's a two birds one stone sorta deal. Red Mage is one of the easiest jobs to level early on as well, being adequately equipped for combat in a number of ways, both offensively and defensively.

Red Mage - Lv.18.
-Unlock Subjob.
White Mage - Lv.30.
-Unlock Summoner.
Summoner - Lv.60.
White Mage - Lv.37.
(Optional: Red Mage - Lv.37.)
Summoner - Lv.75.

That would be my suggestion, naturally it won't be as simple as that though. Getting the avatars can be a pain, getting the help aside, the fame requirements are tedious. Even getting the item required to unlock Summoner is, or can be, tedious.